The Desert Housewife Survival Guide

Embed from Getty Images

One of the most epic fashion guidebooks out there may have been the 1980s The Official Preppy Handbook, which turned a sarcastic, yet truthful lens on high society and how to achieve it.  Having observed Foothills life in this desert city for two decades now, I’d like to offer up my own little tongue-in-cheek guide – The Desert Housewife Survival Guide – for those days when you have to run kids to school, go to the grocery store, try to work out and still feel somewhat pretty. Like you think you look effortless, but really, it took some commitment. Enjoy and feel free to add your own:

  1. Wear stylish workout clothes – Most of us can just throw on some Marshalls’ leggings and slim-fitting knock-off jacket and head out, but if I’m being truthful, it’s when you wear lululemon and Athleta that you feel like a BOSS.
  2. Baseball hat AND makeup – College-branded or vintage, trucker or sleek and sporty, wearing a baseball hat will not only hide your unwashed hair but puts a laser focus on your beautiful eyes. BUT, said eyes must have mascara and a full-face of makeup is even better.
  3. Tennis skirt – Even if you don’t play, it looks hotter than leggings or bike shorts in the spring and summer. A pink one is best, but any Easter egg color is perfect. Pair with self-tanner unless you are blessed with perfect skin.
  4. Cowboy boots – Are you tired of flip flops all year long? A pair of cowboy boots dresses up jeans, shorts, a dress, leggings. ANYTHING.
  5. Perfumed lotion – As it gets hotter, the perfect foil to swass and swoob. (coined words courtesy of my friend Sara)
  6. Designer bag – Whether it’s new or used, a designer bag makes anything better. Even if you haven’t showered and are literally done with everyone. Carrying one just makes life a little nicer.
  7. Jersey dress – A jersey dress doesn’t show sweat. Black is best, but any color will successfully camouflage that you had to run a child to day camp at Saguaro Monument East and then have to look decent enough to meet your friend for coffee.
  8. Self-tanner – I’m pale with rosacea. It’s my best friend.

 ***And whatever you do, DO NOT wear old pink crocs to pick up your daughter from high school and proceed to get out of your car to help her with her stuff!  I’m just saying…for a friend.

One thought on “The Desert Housewife Survival Guide

Leave a Reply to JPB3 (@jbaressi) Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s